california dreamin'

I couldn't resist the title.. saw it the other day on my Forest Gump soundtrack.
Ok... here is an update on my hearing....
Some days I still get discouraged. I feel like I am doing so well, and then an old frustration kicks in, and I think I forget how awful it used to be for me before the implant. So, instead of being amazed by my leaps and bounds, I think... why am I not catching it all?? I guess that is probably more a mark of my progress than anything. I know my close friends and family will tell you that my whole demeanor has lightened up a lot, and I am quite sure I can attribute that to less frustrations. I do feel lighter. My shoulders aren't as tight, I have more energy. It isn't a weight loss thing either.. At the end of a typical school day prior to my implant, I was working so hard that by 7:00 p.m. I was on the verge of tears. I just didn't have the heart to tell any of you, including my own husband how bad a typical day used to be for me.
I still have high expectations for myself and am trying desperately to improve my word recognition and lessen my dependency on my aided side. Really, I need time...

So, this Friday I leave for California. It is all pretty unreal to me still. I am trying not to get too hyped up, but I want to do well. I want to have a voice in some small way to help others and myself. If the feedback I give the engineers for Advanced Bionics can help even in the most tiny of ways, than I did a good thing. Those of you that know me well, or know my story even... know that I take everything serious and work myself with all I have. I can't see this as just a crazy adventure. I see it as an opportunity to do something positive. I hope I can have fun too... but that isn't my main objective. Now if a little side trip to Vegas(enroute to LA) doesn't put some fun into me, then we really know I am an uncurable nerd!