Another year down, lizzie logic list

There is so much going on... where to start?
Okay, a big milestone for me. My last day of school for the year with students is tomorrow. Of course, like any teacher I am ready for summer, but unlike most teachers.... I am teaching when in theory it shouldn't be possible.
Someone close to me said a year after I lost my hearing "It is time to move on and get over your hearing loss." Wow... wouldn't that be awesome if that were possible? Put a huge physical obstacle you are stuck with for life that sometimes frustrates you to the point of crying definitely at one year out, and although now, tears don't come anymore... yep, get over it, great advice! (I hope you sense my sarcasm)....
So, making it to the end of this year... well, it was so much easier than it has been since I lost my hearing. So much, that I find myself reminding kids from time to time, I know you forget I have a significant hearing impairment, but.... it is still difficult for me with tons of noise in a room of 75 people, go figure!
I had fun this year. Not that I didn't have fun moments the last four years, but even thinking back to last year, one year ago before my implants... I am teary eyed. It was so, so difficult. I was so tired and frustrated and honestly, I felt very lonely and sometimes. I doubted my own capabilities. I hate saying that, but if I am going to put it out there, well I better be honest! I had to rely on my instincts of music and teenagers. Now, I can have honest to goodness feedback. I can hear and be critical. I never thought I'd have that again. I had resigned myself, accepted so many things I never thought I would accept.
All of my experiences have led me to some conclusions.
1) People are afraid to take risks. Doctors didn't want me to subject myself to steroids, because of the risks. Administrators four years ago assumed I would fail, because to gamble on me with my circumstance was surely a risk. A lot of people wouldn't have had the courage to even try to teach in my situation, because I was liable to fail... a risk...
2) Life isn't the deck of cards you get, it is how you play them. I am not just talking about myself. I am talking about my friend Dave who is being courageous and positive despite being at the end of his battle with a brain tumor, it is my friend Kaylah who was a student of mine who just graduated from college despite the many odds against her, it is my father-in-law who continues to work despite the tremendous medical ordeals he has faced.... it is there in all of us. I see a lot of people faced with adversity and I see two schools of thought. The person that folds when their hand is crummy and the deck seems stacked against them... and the person who plays the crummy hand well. There isn't a lot of in-between.
3) Faith is essential. I know some readers don't want to hear this one, you are probably the ones who need to hear it the most... but I truly believe I would have quietly applied for disability, sold my house and probably ended my marriage during the worst times if I hadn't answered to God first. I've seen friends give up on certain circumstances, because it is often times so much easier. I could have made a happy life for myself if I retired w/ disability, and I probably wouldn't have as many gray hairs either...
One morning, I remember it as plain as if it were yesterday. I had all but given up. It was the only day that year I didn't go to work because I was just too broken. The administration had turned on me, our finances were out of control, and I had just been told by the doctor I refer to as Dr. Personality... sorry there is nothing more I can do, we don't know why you lost your hearing... and then I found a scripture that turned it all around for me... Isaiah 40... the Eagle's Wings verse. I kept fighting because of that verse. Every single time I wanted to throw in the towel after that over the next 3 years, I had God to keep me going. What I was looking for, that peace to see me through... I found it in Him. That simple.
4) Be somebody to someone every day. There are a million reasons why I kept up the fight... Faith, health insurance (I carry it), stubbornness, not wanting to let my students down... The power in being someone to somebody is unfailing. Because I wanted to keep teaching... because I was doing it when it was tough... the kids saw that. They still see it. How many people go to their job and do it because they don't want to let anyone down? They think about the people they work with, pray for them, pray with them, smile at them, want to be a hero to them? Our world could be transformed. You can be a bus driver, waitress, salesman, nurse, manager.... if you do it because you are truly invested in what you are doing, and do it with heart... life could change for not just you, but the people around you!
5)When in doubt, just one day at a time.
6) Love your career enough you would want to do it if you were faced with a situation like mine.
7) Don't ever quit. I tell my son... Bausches aren't quitters. It sounds cheesy, but what a powerful thing to instill in a little guy. I have always lived by this. When I got 4th chair flute my sophomore year in high school. I didn't cry. I practiced. I challenged every single girl in front of me and within a month I was sitting where I wanted to be, first chair. I knew I would outlast the bad guys... (ie, insensitive and non courageous meany-head administrators) and I did. All of them.
8) Even when people are really insensitive, give bad advice, try to fire you... be nice. The wisecrack or last word my feel good at the moment, but in the end you may end up regretting it. I'd like to believe I'm usually the better person, or at least I try to be.

Well...
I have lots on my agenda the next six weeks... Addison is getting his tonsils removed, I will be flying first to Seattle to the University of Washington to do some music perception tests and then to L.A. to do some testing with beeps and sentences and a really cool opportunity to talk to their employees... finally in July I get to speak in Cleveland at a symposium w/ the three implant producers and both Cleveland hospitals. I feel blessed. I feel like... these opportunities, this is what I am geared up to do!