confidence gained

So the biggest benefit I have gained from the entire cochlear implant experience is confidence. It never occurred to me how much I had lost and how much my friends and family watched out for me. I see them doing and saying things and I wonder, what is the fuss? Then I realize they are just used to being my helpers.
Here is an example. We were up at the Lake last week and my dad was watching the kids swim in the channel... He wanted to go inside so he told the kids they had to get out. I said "Dad, I am right here!" He said "You cannot save them with your implants." I said.. "I can whip them off and jump in there." I find my family asking..."did you hear that?" and I say "yes." Or in situations that used to be difficult for me, they anticipate me not getting by, or missing something... my mom is constantly asking "can you hear that?" When we went to the African Safari the whopping 3 times she kept asking if I could hear things... I don't know if it is because she expects I can't or just wants to know if now I can. A lot of people close to me ask me what things sound like as we are hearing them... Mom wanted to know if rain on the roof of the little trailer we were staying at sounded like rain... and my friend the other day was curious to know if the dog sounded like a dog sounds... The answers are yes! The brain is so amazing. I am astounded by my adaptability. When I hear something and realize what I am hearing, it just sounds normal to me now. So, thunder sounds like thunder, a cat purring sounds like a cat purring, a baby cooing sounds like a baby cooing... the only instances where I can say... stuff sounds different to me is music. I am finding out more and more about the implants and what the boundaries are to understand why I hear things the way I do. But instruments seem to resonate a lot longer (much more noticeable than the regular hearing ear)... I can notice and be distracted by the vibrations on drums, even the piano well after you probably would no longer notice. The timbre of instruments is different too. They lack some of the warmth and richness of the sound the used to have. Of course in music the implants aren't as distinctive in all areas, however I can hear a singer and know if I like their sound or not, if they are pitchy or not... So all of these things lead me to the assumption that no things don't sound like they really sound, but my brain makes the adjustment for the most part.
I have found in my own little tests this summer that even if I am wearing my preferred implant only (the one who is now a year old vs. the one who is just 4 mos. old) I feel a significant decrease in my speech understanding with my children or the t.v. But when I add that second implant, something clicks in my brain and I get so much more. I know I have mentioned it before but the difference in the shape of sound with two is huge. I notice it a great deal with music.
I go back to that feeling when I was activated with my second implant, and I went down to the noisy lobby in the hospital and I could have cried a combination of sadness and happiness. I could not believe the wealth of information I was getting with the second. I whole new world and depth had been rediscovered. I was overwhelmed by the additional noise, but shocked at how much I had been missing with one alone. I was excited and scared all at once.
I have found in my programming I prefer as much information as they will give me... background noise etc... It makes everything feel alive and real to me.
I have lots to do to prepare for school..but I can tell you with confidence that this year will be a huge change for me in a good way. I have a swing in my step again. I feel a part of the world. I am learning how to be a strong independent person all over again....
Some side notes... Adam ended up taking a different job offer. He is excited about the potential there.
The kids are growing like weeds. I can say with confidence Addison is going to be ready to go back to school. He needs the social interaction. I try to fill his days with as much as possible, but he just needs to be around people. He thrives that way.
For now, life is on track... I get to share my music experiences with other CI users at a support group in a few weeks, so I am looking forward to that... I am also looking forward to the school year with a renewed confidence.