fireworks!

Yesterday was Mimi's big birthday party. With just my siblings their families, our parents, and our twin city area family... there were a lot of people here. Here is how it went....
When there is a lot going on, I will run into the same issues as pre-implant. Noisy situations will be a challenge, but not as impossible as before... I used to feel so alone in busy social settings... I know it sounds sad, but I used to just get lost and feel overwhelmed and frustrated. I was not as frustrated yesterday. It was much easier for me to converse with everyone. I felt more apart of things than I have felt since I lost my hearing.
After the party, we took the kids and my nephew to the fireworks in Gnadenhutten. We found the perfect spot... boys had lots of room to run and catch fireflies, the sunset over the hills was perfect. Adam's tow truck guys call that area God's country. I still am taken by its beauty sometimes. Anyhow, I was struck with what I heard. I heard booms, sizzles... the screams of those crazy fireworks... and even... this is big... an echo off the foothills around us. I was also able to hear addison and my nephew talk to me too during the display. I just got kind of choked up about it all. For all of my friends and family reading this who do not have a hearing loss, take just a minute and thank God for that. I have missed so much these past three years, and this week has been rather emotional for me as I am getting some of that back and at the same time I am overwhelmed by the miracle, I am realizing all I have missed and I hurt for myself a little bit too.
So this morning struck another test for me... church.
I chose not to wear the neck loop and implant w/ the t-coil because I wanted to see what it was like for me. I forgot how distracting a p.a. system is w/ hearing aids, and so my aided ear was getting a slight delay while my implant was picking things up... so I ended up turning my aid down as far as I could and was able to get about 80% of the sermon. I realize the fine tuning in weeks to come will get this up even more, I am still lip reading quite a lot too. Now, with that being said... there are some big moments for me... we have a praise band and I can tell you that I had my doubts about music post-implant, but it honestly sounds better to me through my implant than through my aid. My pitch perception was not distorted and instead of sounding like a music blob (as it has), it sounded true to me. I heard each layer and the entirity. An even bigger moment for me, was when the congregation sang a hymn. I heard the congregation singing together--this choked me up too... hearing voices lifted together. I used to be so clouded with everything going on I was lucky to follow musically. I think I am going to test myself a bit tonight musically... go out to the music room after the kids go to bed and play my flute and sing a big with adam or listen to him sing and start re-learning music. Honestly, this morning gives me so much hope for my future not just personally, but my career too.