bausch is a "bionic bilateral babe"

I couldn't resist the title. A friend of mine at Advanced Bionics, said I could join the ranks of bionic bilateral babes... so here I am!
I was afraid to be excited about today's appointment. I didn't know if I had healed enough for the activation and I didn't want to feel that let down again.
First I met with Dr. Weber. Who said the incision looked good. I knew that would be a green light for the activation!
It is hard to describe it all... It wasn't like the first activation for me, because I knew what I was listening for... and we had started the process last week.
At first the audiologist slowly increases the stimulation (through the electric impulses, it is a pulse rate thing but I am not smart enough to give you a better explanation)... you let the audiologist know when you start to hear something... At first it sounded like someone was talking with a heavy glass cup to their face. It does sound mechanical, but truly this time that only lasted minutes before I started making that connection to what I was hearing. By the time I left the appointment that sensation was gone (both the weird cup thing and the robo-voice). When one person was talking, it was easy listening so to speak, but in my appointment was my audiologist, a co-worker of hers as well as an intern, and my mom and cousin. When the conversation picked up to a quick group dialogue, I became a bit overwhelmed and began experiencing some of the sensations of being bilateral. It almost felt like a timing delay between the ears, but it is was/is so quick that, that isn't even a great explanation. Suddenly I was hearing not only a lot more, but bilateral. I was overwhelmed. It wasn't/isn't an awful feeling but it is new and different and the volume in my life has been turned up basically 50%. I am involving new pathways in my brain and now my brain has to make the connection between the two implants and get it all into sync for me.
I have high expectations for myself. I feel like this second implant was a tremendous gift and blessing in my life. I want to work very hard to hear to my full potential. I am willing to put in the work, because I have too much at stake. I live in a hearing world, a musical world and I want to be a part of it to the fullest extent that my body will allow me.
I am hopeful, ready to work and definitely overwhelmed. I thought I would feel emotional today and I think I was just still on "guard mode" protecting myself in case things didn't go well today to relax and allow myself to enjoy it. I also carry this sense that I need to do well because too many people have helped me get this far and I can't let anyone down... from my family to my students and their tremendous patience to the staff at the Cleveland Clinic and the people at advanced bionics. I want to absolutely do this for me, because this is a second chance, a hope I didn't expect to have, but I want to do it because it takes a village to make a bilateral babe!